Double Standards

Turn Off the TV!
Bruce Lansky

My father gets quite mad at me;
my mother gets upset
when they catch me watching
our new television set.

My father yells, “Turn that thing off!”
Mom says, “It’s time to study.”
I’d rather watch my favorite TV show
with my best buddy.

I sneak down after homework
and turn the set on low.
But when she sees me watching it,
my mother yells out, “No!”

Dad says, “If you don’t turn it off,
I’ll hang it from a tree!”
I rather doubt he’ll do it,
’cause he watches more than me.

He watches sports all weekend
and weekday evenings, too,
while munching chips and pretzels—
the room looks like a zoo.

So if he ever got the nerve
to hang it from a tree,
he’d spend a lot of time up there—
watching it with me.